Why Indian Society Can’t Prefer Girl Child

The skewed child sex ratio of India shows the preference given to the boy child by the society. Why the society can’t prefer girl child?

The most expected answer will be the menace - Dowry. It is a major reason but not the only reason. The perspective changes with different communities.

 For poor families money matters the most. Some will be driven to debt trap after their daughter/s marriage. And the financial woes are not ending there. Expenses will be mounting on the girl parents for after marriage events such as child birth. This system is in its pinnacle in some communities in Tamilnadu, the girl’s family has to provide everything for settling the new family after marriage. The rituals are congruous with the festivals to supply the furniture, gold, money etc to the son-in-law’s household. So having a girl child means embracing never ending commitments. This frustration can be seen from the selective infanticide prevailing in the state.

For rural farmer families in Andra, financial matters won’t pester much for having girl child, in fact they will keep a many times the fortune that  they are giving for daughter,  for sons. It is the social customs rendering girls non desirable. After marriage girls will be part of her husband’s family, even her clan changes. Sons will take care of their parents in old age. Not having male offspring means old age insecure. Sons will carry the family legacy; they will do to ceremonies for forefathers, so that after life will be peaceful. The concept of taking care of afterlife compromising comforts of the present world seems to be irony. For the farmer families, where the whole family contributes in farm work, man power is very important. Having son, they will get the service of daughter-in-laws also. Same time the girl’s parents get the additional job of taking care of her during pregnancy, child care etc which demands absence from farm work, which can invariably create dents in the income. Thus people having daughters are losers.

Even though the present real life status shows sons abandoning their parents at old age or parents are living with daughters at old age, the social mentality has not changed in favour of neutral position. For decimating the social phantom, the choice of residence of couple after marriage should be made optional in lieu of the mandate that they should be in husband’s home.

The matrilineal family system in some communities in Kerala, major share of wealth is transferred to the females. But this system engulfed by dowry system. Instead of being a voluntary transfer, it has changed into demanded one by the bridegroom’s family. In such families, having sister means added responsibility and loss of wealth for the brother, and they expect compensation for this loss from the family of their fiancees. Thus boy brings fortunes and meanwhile girls take away it. Investment on education for girl child is seen as an investment which gives no returns.

Widows are seen as a burden to society. They are not included in any auspicious occasions. Do society do like this to the widower? Why we are having large proportion of widows than widowers? First of all widow remarriage is not encouraged. Huge inter spousal age difference is another reason. Given the fact that average life expectancy of women is more than man, at the time of marriage girls should be of higher age, so that the couple can have a long married life. Why society demands otherwise and pushes majority of women to solitude in their late ages?

Thus we can see that all the rules made are pro male. The patriarchal family system which gives undue importance to the male folk has to be blamed.  The society has made women ignorant and dependent by denying them education, opportunities, employment and self development. In course of time when they become ignorant and dependent, they are subjected to offense for not knowing anything and   capability to do anything. This stereotyping further deteriorated their situation and concealed the abilities. The inequality is comparatively less in the lower class families where both participate in economic activities. The social taboo prevents the women from upper class doing work outside. So they got imprisoned in their homes totally subjecting to the male members. The society failed to provide education or self employment to them. Our culture views women as source of impurity, evil and sin. The old literature claims women inferior to men. Manu says women do not deserve freedom. Even the widely applauded Gita says girl children are born to sinned mothers. This set of thoughts is imprinted in the mind of every Indian. Women feel proud to be mother of a son; but not of a daughter. Being a daughter’s mother she has to endure humiliation and sympathy from the public.  Women folk bear the blame for everything – for any ill fates happening in family, misbehavior of children, and even for giving birth to girls. They are blamed to be covetous for ornaments and dresses and for being beauty conscious; but the fact is men folk likes to see them ornamented and well dressed. Media also have pro male lineage. Movies stereotypes women. They show parents of girl child to be vulnerable. They have to abstain from duties as responsible officer in fear of assault of their daughters by the antisocial elements. In other hand they show sons adding to their father’s glory.

Actually men bring misfortune to the family by the vice of alcoholism. This drives family into debt and pandemonium. There women strive hard to keep the family going at the same time bears abuses from the drunkard. The voice of such ill-fated women are unheard by the society.