The skewed child sex ratio of India
shows the preference given to the boy child by the society. Why the society
can’t prefer girl child?
The most expected answer will be the
menace - Dowry. It is a major reason but not the only reason. The perspective
changes with different communities.
For poor families money matters the most. Some
will be driven to debt trap after their daughter/s marriage. And the financial
woes are not ending there. Expenses will be mounting on the girl parents for after
marriage events such as child birth. This system is in its pinnacle in some
communities in Tamilnadu, the girl’s family has to provide everything for
settling the new family after marriage. The rituals are congruous with the
festivals to supply the furniture, gold, money etc to the son-in-law’s
household. So having a girl child means embracing never ending commitments. This
frustration can be seen from the selective infanticide prevailing in the state.
For rural farmer families in Andra,
financial matters won’t pester much for having girl child, in fact they will
keep a many times the fortune that they
are giving for daughter, for sons. It is
the social customs rendering girls non desirable. After marriage girls will be
part of her husband’s family, even her clan changes. Sons will take care of
their parents in old age. Not having male offspring means old age insecure.
Sons will carry the family legacy; they will do to ceremonies for forefathers,
so that after life will be peaceful. The concept of taking care of afterlife
compromising comforts of the present world seems to be irony. For the farmer
families, where the whole family contributes in farm work, man power is very
important. Having son, they will get the service of daughter-in-laws also. Same
time the girl’s parents get the additional job of taking care of her during
pregnancy, child care etc which demands absence from farm work, which can invariably
create dents in the income. Thus people having daughters are losers.
Even though the present real life
status shows sons abandoning their parents at old age or parents are living
with daughters at old age, the social mentality has not changed in favour of
neutral position. For decimating the social phantom, the choice of residence of
couple after marriage should be made optional in lieu of the mandate that they
should be in husband’s home.
The matrilineal family system in
some communities in Kerala, major share of wealth is transferred to the
females. But this system engulfed by dowry system. Instead of being a voluntary
transfer, it has changed into demanded one by the bridegroom’s family. In such
families, having sister means added responsibility and loss of wealth for the
brother, and they expect compensation for this loss from the family of their
fiancees. Thus boy brings fortunes and meanwhile girls take away it. Investment
on education for girl child is seen as an investment which gives no returns.
Widows are seen as a burden to
society. They are not included in any auspicious occasions. Do society do like
this to the widower? Why we are having large proportion of widows than
widowers? First of all widow remarriage is not encouraged. Huge inter spousal
age difference is another reason. Given the fact that average life expectancy
of women is more than man, at the time of marriage girls should be of higher
age, so that the couple can have a long married life. Why society demands
otherwise and pushes majority of women to solitude in their late ages?
Thus we can see that all the rules
made are pro male. The patriarchal family system which gives undue importance
to the male folk has to be blamed. The
society has made women ignorant and dependent by denying them education, opportunities,
employment and self development. In course of time when they become ignorant
and dependent, they are subjected to offense for not knowing anything and capability to do anything. This stereotyping
further deteriorated their situation and concealed the abilities. The
inequality is comparatively less in the lower class families where both
participate in economic activities. The social taboo prevents the women from
upper class doing work outside. So they got imprisoned in their homes totally
subjecting to the male members. The society failed to provide education or self
employment to them. Our culture views women as source of impurity, evil and
sin. The old literature claims women inferior to men. Manu says women do not
deserve freedom. Even the widely applauded Gita says girl children are born to
sinned mothers. This set of thoughts is imprinted in the mind of every Indian.
Women feel proud to be mother of a son; but not of a daughter. Being a
daughter’s mother she has to endure humiliation and sympathy from the public. Women folk bear the blame for everything – for
any ill fates happening in family, misbehavior of children, and even for giving
birth to girls. They are blamed to be covetous for ornaments and dresses and
for being beauty conscious; but the fact is men folk likes to see them
ornamented and well dressed. Media also have pro male lineage. Movies
stereotypes women. They show parents of girl child to be vulnerable. They have
to abstain from duties as responsible officer in fear of assault of their
daughters by the antisocial elements. In other hand they show sons adding to
their father’s glory.
Actually men bring misfortune to the
family by the vice of alcoholism. This drives family into debt and pandemonium.
There women strive hard to keep the family going at the same time bears abuses
from the drunkard. The voice of such ill-fated women are unheard by the
society.
